Forum
SEARCH FORUM:
Facebook
Twitter
Googleplus
camerakind
Style_council
camerakind

My Bf of 3 years is transferring after one year of college to another across the country because of a full ride.
I have some ideas to make things work on our closeness such as working on communication (phone, text, web cam, im), sending ‘care packages’ every other week and random cute photos during the day just to make each other smile..
but do you have any other ideas that can help? :)
I would greatly appreciate it!

posted about 10 years ago
amorpassion
Style_council
amorpassion

maybe start saving up money now and plan a surprise trip there, if possible. perhaps sweet emails once in a while to brighten each others day :) ahh this is really hard to think of. haha but i wish you the best on long distance!

posted about 10 years ago
 
camerakind
Style_council
camerakind

Oh, I forgot to add that :).. Yea I plan to visit him this coming semester and he will visit the second semester :D. Soo excited about that!
I like the email idea! Thanks! :)

posted about 10 years ago
 
jadeyoudk
Style_council
jadeyoudk

Oh gosh, goodluck to you both and to your relationship. I know it’s really really hard to make long distance relationship work. I’ve been in one. And I’ll tell you what you already know, COMMUNICATION is the key. And trust each other.

posted about 10 years ago
 
railophone
Style_council
railophone

^Exactly what jadeyoudk said.

Communication and trust are key.
You guys can do it. Because the things that are really worth it will work out because you put heart into it. Video chats are nice, and so are photos. Try writing poems, even if they’re sappy. Because what you think may be sappy may be the most adorable thing to him. (:

I’m in a long distance relationship too. It’s more like… half of the world away. I’m going to be in his country soon, and I really really hope I can see him. But my parents don’t know, so I’m figuring ways to make it work.

I wish you two good luck!

posted about 10 years ago
 
camerakind
Style_council
camerakind

Oh I know! He has a bad habit of getting upset w simple confrontation so while hes up in that state looking for an apt were working on the communication and seeing how things will be, somewhat, while hes going to school up there.

I like that poem idea! I’ll include that in my care packages :). Thank you ALL and I wish you the best Stereoskyline! Maybe you can house each other as an exchange students and then SURPRISE MOM AND DAD :P.

posted about 10 years ago
 
railophone
Style_council
railophone

Ahahah, I’m taking German, so there’s not much chance of that. He’s in Japan.
There’d be some… doubts right there. (:

Thank you.

posted about 10 years ago
 
hotfudgexd
Style_council
hotfudgexd

ooh well it can offocurse work, stay optimistic! My bff has a long-distance relationship, but luckily she has many chances to see him- they have been together for a year and a half now!!
YOU CAN DO IT haha

posted about 10 years ago
 
frenchieee
Style_council
frenchieee

My boyfriend sends me care packages and flowers randomly. I send him fun care packages with mix cds, boxers (because he claims every pair I buy him is lucky), pictures, letters, and voice recording stuffed animals.

I usually get a ton of emails from him, we’ve aim/msn, texts, phone calls, etc. This is also the first year we’ve been away from each other because of his college. We’ve been on/off, mostly on (haha), for almost 5 years.

posted about 10 years ago
 
camerakind
Style_council
camerakind

Awe thanks :D, were really trying to make this work! He might transfer after the first semester at his transferred school heh and come back to our home state to be closer so once he does I will try to transfer to that same school :P. I cant go out of state thats for sure!

and frenchieee I love your ideas like the voice recorders of stuffed animals!! :)

posted about 10 years ago
 
KaylaQ
Style_council
KaylaQ

My boyfriend has had to move to several different places in the 4 years we have been together (New York, Pennsylvania, and Georgia this fall), and because I am trying to finish up school, I can’t be with him fully until I graduate. So we’ve had some practice at the long distance thing. =)

All the ideas I’ve read from others are good ones.

The biggest thing is the trust issue.

If you both have access to email all day, like on your phones, it’s nice to send them throughout the day instead of text messages, because unless you have unlimited messaging, it can be kinda pricey. =)

It’s nice, too, just to remind each other you are thinking of them. Like, if you see something in a store you think the other one would like, let them know. This will help each of you remember the other one cares.

Also, if time is short and you can’t swing a full on care package, cards and letters do he trick. I love sending/receiving actual mail!

It’s rough, but you’ll get through it. The first week is always the hardest. Just stay busy so you don’t have time to be sad about missing him. =)

Good luck. Hope this helps a little.
KRQ.

posted about 10 years ago
 
camerakind
Style_council
camerakind

How simple! The card idea and I totally missed it! He had mentioned he was going to have to buy many stamps for the boxes but we can do letters and cards when the number of stamps go low :P.

I wana do that idea of sending random ’I’m thinking of you’ texts but him and I kinda text from the moment we wake til we sleep :P of course around family time and during the school year-classes and homework. But we do do that, in a way hehe, the thinking of you texts.

The trust issue is gonna be a tough one! Him and I both hurt each other many ways, often too close to that line of trust so were trying to deal w that. Odds are against us but well do it :).

I hope all goes well for you and your bf, I’m guessing he’s in the military w all the moving in such a short period? But thanks again KRQ!

posted about 10 years ago
 
littlevioletdress
Style_council
littleviolet...

all of those ideas are really, really good. usually, what seems to be the most important is that both partners are committed to the relationship and finding a communication style that works. it also helps to have some kind of fairness with travel. even if it’s not a one-for-one, it’s important that it feels fair. for example, if you make more and are free more often, maybe you can travel more, but you’re both okay with that.

also, you have to realize that you can’t just pretend you’re not far apart. i made that mistake. i tried to act like he was just across town. you have to adjust your communication. pay attention to tone of voice, make time for each other, and tell each other about your lives. many people think that the big milestones in relationships are the most important (like anniversaries, bday, etc.), but it’s really the day-to-day that makes them. if you keep each other informed abt your day-to-day, it will help. it also helps if you can meet his friends at the new place. then you’ll know who he’s talking about when he speaks of people there. finally, allow yourself to live your own lives too. it’s a good time to exercise some independence before settling down. i said finally, but one last thing: be honest. don’t lie about where you were, who you were with, or how you’re feeling about the relationship and distance. (if you have to, it’s a sign the relationship is not a good one).

because it’s only for a year, i think you’ll be fine. there’s an end in sight. you can always say, “this is the last july 4th we’ll spend apart,” “this is the last ____ we’ll spend apart.”

i hope that helps. good love, love!

posted about 10 years ago
 
KaylaQ
Style_council
KaylaQ

It’s not easy being so far apart. It really can put a strain on the relationship.

He isn’t in the military. He has just had several internships that have taken him different places, and he is getting ready to go to grad school in the fall.

We are both journalism majors, and where we live there aren’t many opportunities, so moving all over the place is really the only option.

Hope everything works out!
KRQ.

posted about 10 years ago
REPLY TO DISCUSSION
Please log in. Don't have an account? Sign up here.
Continue_with_facebook
or login below
Username
Password